


Catch Hold

by rekal



Category: Half-Life
Genre: 5+1 Things, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, gabe newell locks me in a room with a laptop and shouts go gayboy go, just want them to be happy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:28:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26106469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rekal/pseuds/rekal
Summary: A few chance meetings. A few intentional meetings. They get to fall in love before the world ends.Basically a 5 + 1 where it's "five times they sit around and pine + the one time they do something about it"
Relationships: Barney Calhoun/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 15
Kudos: 149





	1. One

Barney Calhoun wasn’t one to miss memos.

And for a couple of years as a guard at Black Mesa he hadn’t, but an unfortunate combination of drinking, his upstairs neighbors calling the fire department, and his downstairs neighbors exercising their passion for screaming matches had left Barney with a few rough hours of sleep and a persistent migraine upon arriving at work, and in his hurry to get both in uniform and caffeinated enough to function, he didn’t bother inspecting the facility’s various update boards for any pertinent news. 

It also didn’t help that he passed out on the break room table the second he let his head drop.

Dr. Gordon Freeman wasn’t one to miss memos either, but he did possess a tendency to zero in on his work to the point of detriment, so when the break room doors suddenly sealed shut at precisely 9:00 am, leaving Gordon locked inside with a dead-to-the-world security guard, he remembered with a cold dread what he had read earlier that morning. 

**_ALERTING ALL EMPLOYEES,_ **

**_The annual company lockdown drill will occur from 9:00 am to 10:00 am 8/20._ **

**_Please proceed to your respective wing’s employee bunker before 9:00 am._ **

Gordon looked to the guard, still fast asleep, and sighed quietly. He wasn’t good at keeping himself occupied for long periods of time- boredom frayed his nerves like nothing else.

He moved away from the microwave with his half full mug of coffee and sat on the floor against the back wall, watching the guard’s sleeping face.

He’d seen the man around once or twice in his short time at Black Mesa, but had yet to put a name to the face. Either way, it felt like he was broaching the man’s privacy, watching him sleep when he’d clearly had a rough night. _Or morning, I suppose,_ Gordon thought, pulling his eyes off of the guard and scanning the room instead, looking for something to occupy himself with. 

He was getting antsier by the minute, thoughts still on the equations he had been proofing earlier. New scenarios with which to do so were popping into his head and piling up at an alarming rate, and it was getting difficult to remember all of them at once.

Gordon noticed his hands had moved to picking at the threads of his coat sleeves and, making a decision to find something that would retain pen ink, he stood and moved to rummage through the counter cabinets lining one wall of the break room.

There were quite a few to sort through, and in his focus, Gordon failed to notice the small waking noise of the man behind him.

Barney stretched his arms and took in his surroundings, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the light. Two things caught his attention:

A long, thin man with his hair pulled back into a short ponytail and his shoulders bearing the mark of the Black Mesa Science Team, a pristine lab coat, was combing through the contents of the break room cabinets. _Well,_ Barney thought noncommittally, _that’s odd._

The second and most alarming thing Barney registered within his waking moments was the blinking red of the usually steady green LED set into the break room door’s manual operations panel. He slowly got up- his headache was better than he remembered, but his temples still throbbed with his movements- and waved his hand in front of the door’s sensors. Nothing.

A quick look confirmed that the scientist appeared not to have noticed him yet. He approached the man, intending to say something to catch his attention, when he suddenly processed that he’d effectively been sleeping on the job and the scientist might be the only person to know about it. 

Barney stopped a couple feet behind the man and crossed his arms, thinking about what, if anything, he could say to ease the punishment he’d get if this man just happened to be someone authorized to deal it out, or intended to snitch to someone who _was_ authorized.

Then again, the man hadn’t woken him up or anything. But then again, there seemed to be a more dire situation-

Barney’s thoughts were cut short when the scientist suddenly tensed and swiveled his head to look up at Barney, eyes unblinking.

Barney couldn’t think of anything to say for what seemed like a long time, and the man’s uncomfortable gaze wasn’t helping things.

“The, uh, the door-”

“Did you read the memo?” Gordon cut him off, returning to digging through the cabinet in front of him.

“What?”

“Lockdown drill. One hour.”

The man’s voice was softer than Barney had expected given his almost intimidating appearance, but his words were curt. Minimized.

“Man of few words, huh?”

Gordon’s motions slowed for a second and he shrugged, not turning his gaze away from the contents of the cabinet in front of him. He had searched through all but two.

Barney watched his back for a few moments before dragging a chair over, plopping down, and crossing his legs. 

“How come you’re here, then?”

“Hm?”

“If you knew about the memo.”

Gordon pulled a packet of Black-Mesa-Orange paper napkins free from the cabinet, probably left over from one celebration or another, with a tempered smile and quickly seated himself at a table. Barney slid his chair to sit across from him and watched him scribble lines of mathematical nonsense onto a napkin in an almost painfully uniform script.

The scientist looked up at Barney for a split second before resuming writing. 

“My name is Doctor Gordon Freeman.” _Ignoring the question,_ Barney noticed.

“I’m Barney. Officer Barney Calhoun, in full,” Barney offered back, not pushing the inquiry about Gordon’s reasons for being locked in the break room with his sorry ass. The man didn’t seem to fit into the uptight, self-righteous cult he’d seen in the rest of the science team- for one, he was much younger than the vast majority of them- but the last thing he wanted to do was piss off the man he was stuck alone with for the next hour.

Gordon nodded, his writing slowing to a stop as he let out a heavy exhale. He set his pen down and massaged his hand, giving Barney a small smile.

“Sorry.”

Barney offered him a much wider smile.

“No need to be sorry, doc.”

Gordon folded the napkin he’d covered into his jacket pocket and folded his hands on the table in front of him, tapping his foot absently.

“I’m here because I lost track of time. And because a number of coworkers aren’t fond of me.”

“Ah, an answer to my question. I feel like I’ve passed a test,” Barney responded, earning a huff or laughter from Gordon. “I’d give an in depth excuse for my own situation, but I’m ‘fraid it boils down to about the same thing.” A few too many hours spent at a bar, and the quiet judgement of his fellow guards that he’d provoked some time ago after he’d misread some signals from another officer and risked a flirt.

“I’d be happy to listen,” Gordon responded and shifted his chair to pointedly look at the wall clock. “An hour to kill.”

“Fair point.”

Barney’s storytelling skills were something he was proud of, and he was glad to see the tinge of emotion in Gordon’s expression grow as he relayed the events of the night before. While the talking was mostly one-sided, Gordon encouraged him to expand on the handful of tangents that came up and Barney was happy to indulge him, relishing Gordon’s rapt attention and the intense accompanying stare of green eyes. 

Ah. Very green. Doctor Freeman was a good looking guy. _Really_ good looking. How had he not noticed that before?

The realization came with a bit of a stumble in pace towards the end of his story that left him shaking his head and skipping a conclusion to say, “You hungry, doc?”

Gordon raised his brows in confusion until Barney leaned over to grab the duffel bag he’d brought with him. “I’ve got a couple sandwiches- just ham ‘n’ cheese, nothing special. If you want one.”

He took them out and, waiting for one of the increasingly more frequent verbal responses from Gordon, almost missed the soft nod he gave. His expression was one of deep appreciation that Barney knew was definitely not warranted by half of a shitty ham and cheese sandwich.

As they ate, Barney thought about how to broach that topic with this man he probably wouldn’t have the opportunity to talk to again in years.

“Your coworkers seem pretty shit,” Barney heard himself saying, internally punching himself for his lack of eloquence.

To his surprise, Gordon just smiled. “So you’ve noticed.”

“Yeah, the Science Team’s not too friendly with anyone outside of their little circle. With you being the exception, that is,” Barney added quickly.

“Am I the exception to Science Team employees being unfriendly, or the exception in that the Science Team is unfriendly to me?”

“Both. I mean, you seem like a pretty swell guy, I don’t know why they’d give you shit. You’re talented, well spoken,” 

_( What am I saying?_ Barney thought near desperately. _You’re obviously flirting. He’s gonna call HR on you.)_

“obviously smart, ah, handsome,” _( Nail in the coffin, dumbass,_ he thought.)

He risked a look at Gordon’s face to meet wide, wide green eyes and felt the blood rushing to his face. Gordon had only just opened his mouth to speak when a clear bell rang out, signaling the end of the lockdown drill. The second the door panel switched from red to green Barney was grabbing his bag and yelling a quick “Catch you later, doc,” over his shoulder as he practically ran out of the room and down the corridor, praying that hour with Dr. Freeman wouldn’t come back to bite his ass later. 

And if the prodigal, esteemed Dr. Gordon Freeman spent the rest of the day replaying the moment Barney Calhoun gave him half his lunch and called him handsome in his head, nobody needs to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HLVRAI motivated me to buy half-life 2, which led to me immersing myself in that universe, which led to this. I feel like valve probably had a great summer profit wise  
> thanks for reading yeah woo


	2. Two

Gordon knew him being tasked with opening the bioengineering conference was some sort of punishment. For what, he didn’t know- he rarely did at Black Mesa.

He’d almost thought it was a joke at first, but had time to reconsider while he spent the weekend writing a presentation of minimum length detailing the work of a department he _didn’t even belong to._

At least the fifty or so people at the conference, once it finally came around, excluding the handful of Black Mesa employees just as confused as to why Gordon was there as he was, didn’t seem to notice he barely knew what he was talking about. Either way once he’d finished the patchwork slideshow and introductory speech, he excused himself through the lambda-emblazoned double doors to sit in the hallway and do something besides embarrass himself. 

He found a bench by some vending machines and proceeded to hold his head in his hands, working the cost-benefit analysis of taking a sick day.

Gordon had only a few minutes of silence before he next heard footsteps. When they were close enough, he peeked through his fingers to see a familiar face:

“Calhoun?”

The guard stopped and looked around for the source of the voice. When he spotted Gordon, his expression was nervous, but he still moved to sit next to him.

“Doc Freeman, right?” Gordon nodded, shifting into a more comfortable sitting position and offering a pained smile.

Barney chuckled, his expression loosening up. “I’d ask how you’re doing, but I can tell already. So, instead- what’re you doing this many levels up?”

“I could ask you the same.”

“Fair enough. I was assigned to process y’all.”

Gordon’s face shifted in confusion. “I didn’t see you on the way in.”

“I don’t think you saw anyone on the way in, doc. Seemed like you were more interested in the floor.” Barney’s tone was lighthearted, and Gordon gave a small sigh of agreement.

“I wish you had said something.”

“Hm?”

“Could have used a friendly face.”

Gordon looked up and met Barney’s eyes. He grinned as he replied, maintaining their eye contact.

“I’m glad I’m considered one.”

Gordon smiled back in response. They sat for a bit, neither of them saying anything, but he didn’t feel like looking away. He couldn’t pin down why, but he _liked_ this guard. Liked being around him. He made him feel safer, warmer, almost. 

“Calhoun-”

“Hey, doc-”

Barney laughed when he realized they’d interrupted each other.

“You first,” Gordon was quick to say.

“Alright, alright. I’m on my way outta here. I was gonna ask, if you don’t have to stick around here any longer, if you wanted to get some real lunch this ti-”

“Yes.”

Barney’s face was sunnier than ever when he stood and offered his hand to help Gordon up. His glove did nothing to detract from the warmth of his hand, and Gordon’s own felt colder when it was gone.

“Where to, doc?”

They ended up at the lab cafeteria after Gordon reluctantly admitted he should stay at the facility, discussing their schedules, and to Barney’s joyful surprise Gordon initiated a discussion about the possibility of them meeting up for lunch on the days their lunch breaks lined up. Needless to say, Barney took the opportunity to see Gordon a few days a week, ignoring the little voice at the back of his head warning him not to get a crush.

After a month of lunch meetings, only two of which Gordon missed (and excessively apologized for missing), Barney was reasonably concerned when he arrived at a cafeteria devoid of any neurotic physicists. He waited for a little while, drumming his fingers on the table and trying to think of anything Gordon might’ve said to suggest where he was.

His antsiness ate away at his appetite. Barney eventually made up his mind to seek him out, at least find out if he was alright. 

_God knows too many employees don’t make it out of here in one piece,_ he thought, wanting to run but controlling his pace as he headed to reception. 

He exchanged a few words with the man at the desk, putting on as stern of an expression as he could muster and doing everything he could to imply Gordon was in trouble with security without saying it out loud. If he got interrogated about why exactly he needed to find Gordon, he wasn’t sure what he’d say.

Barney stood, arms crossed and brow furrowed as he listened to reception type away at their clunky monitors for what felt like an hour before he was referred to the easternmost testing facilities. 

He was in an elevator before he registered the implications of “testing facility”.

One, Gordon didn’t tell him he was going to be testing. Two, probably because an excessive amount of injuries and lawsuits alike had stemmed from Black Mesa’s frequent testing in recent years. No one employee wanted to talk about how Black Mesa knew how improvements in safety were more expensive than settlements, but most everybody knew.

All in all, Barney was right to be worried.

He gave up on the performance of “security guard tracking down a miscreant” after seeing a pair of scientists running towards an exit in favor of frantically jogging around in search of test chamber doors. 

He was spared the rest of his search when a researcher emerged from a doorway to run in front of him, gesturing for him to stop.

“Did they send you? Are you looking for the test chamber?” she questioned in quick succession, sounding slightly out of breath.

Barney gritted his teeth and nodded, taking the opportunity, and she nodded back with a grim expression. She motioned for him to follow and within a few moments, he was standing in front of heavy doors, waiting for her to enter an access code.

Only a few moments after the doors opened, a stifled groan of pain broke through the heavy chatter filtering through the corridor ahead of them. That was all it took for Barney to start running.

His mind was racing by the time he laid eyes on Gordon, surrounded by steaming orange metal plates labeled with what looked like "HEV-PROTO" and scientists, sitting outside of a doorway looking like he had just emerged from a cocoon. Only issue was the matching metal still encasing one of his legs and attempting to be pried off by the scientists around him. It was hard to make it out, but Barney heard Gordon say his name, voice strained and quiet, as he joined Operation Free-Gordon’s-Leg without a moment’s hesitation.

Barney’s arrival seemed to give the assisting scientists some fresh motivation, because his commands of 1-2-3-pull were accompanied with yells of effort and within a couple minutes, they had loosened the front plate enough to pry it off with a crowbar someone had resourced earlier. Gordon’s rare exclamations of pain did little to betray the level of damage to his leg that was now visible- most of the skin was an angry red, forming blisters below his calf and obviously warranting more complaint than Gordon was giving.

Barney quickly realized, accounting for the blank or nervous stares from the scientists around them, that there were no medically trained persons present and directed them to _go, find a medic, get some help._

He was emptying his on-person equipment, looking for some kind of first aid, when he felt Gordon’s hand on his shoulder.

“Breathe.”

Before Barney could point out the irony in Gordon telling _him_ to calm down, he was being pulled into a hug. He quickly dropped what he was doing to wrap an arm around Gordon and say softly, on impulse,

“You tell me the next time you’re gonna go and do something dangerous, alright?”

Footsteps sounded from down the corridor and he pulled away, giving Gordon a forceless, friendly arm punch before in an attempt to temper the intimacy of the situation. Instead of speaking or returning the gesture, Barney watched Gordon, face sweaty with pain and exertion, reach out a hand to clasp tightly around Barney’s wrist before looking up to meet his eyes. He held on until a medic jogged around the corner to take Barney's place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm bakc bitches did you miss me  
> sorry this took so long, thanks for the love in the meantime


End file.
